We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
