apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
