We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
