It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
