The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
