look no pants
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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