doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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