I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
