My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize