yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
