I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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