Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
