Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
