The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
