I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
