he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
