I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
