It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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