I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i drank out of a bidet.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
