All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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