I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
