GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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