I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
