gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
