she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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