I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
