Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
