I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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