I cockslap morals
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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