sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
