Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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