she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
