Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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