i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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