My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
