So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
