508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
