everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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