Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
