i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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