She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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