some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
