My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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