its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
