my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize