I forgot how hot balto sounded
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
