Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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