I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
