He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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