that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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