Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So squirting runs in the family.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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