what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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