Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
