they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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