Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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