Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
