Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
