States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
