i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
