I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
