Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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