If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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