First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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