I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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