hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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